Philosophy
I get a little philosophic about birth, which is ironic seeing as (a) I’m not studying it, (b) I’m not a mother myself, and (c) I’ve never been to one. But I still have some philosophies and when I was at the chiropractor the other day (as a side note - does anyone else think their chiro is a magician? Because mine can just gently touch me and know where I’m hurting and fix it without asking me details!) and talking about my impending university course and she stopped what she was doing before saying, "You’re about to face a lot of challenges to your philosophy". So here are some thoughts before it is all challenged!
- Childbirth is natural. For many women, that what happens is normal is probably the best kept secret and the key to her feeling able to do what she needs to, even if she doesn’t know what to do.
- Fathers need support too, and should be brought into the process as early as possible. He’s not there to know what to do either - in fact, he probably knows less than the woman about the whole process, and labour is not the time to show that he doesn’t know what to do.
- Planning for childbirth is also planning for parenting.
- With childbirth comes pain. But suffering need not be a part of it! There are many ways to deal with the physical, emotional and psychological pain that may come. The time to decide how to deal with pain, and to practice these techniques, is not during labour though but many women may not be aware of this.
- Childbirth is a rite of passage - the transition from ‘woman’ to ‘mother’.
- Being pregnant and giving birth are not medical events - even if medical care is involved.
- What a woman needs to know about birth will not come from a book or from a doctor - it comes from within.
- Everyone is unique and so preparation has to be uniquely yours.
- Practices and teachings are constantly evolving but at the core, it’s all about making and bringing babies into the world.
- Keep an eye on the specific outcome that the mother-to-be wants and be aware of it during preparation - no plan is worth the paper it’s written on, but the essence of what is wanted needs to be held to.
- As with war, the plans for a birth are ignored from the first moment - in this case, because the baby can’t read.
- The people having the baby get to be supported in whatever they choose. It is not my place as a midwife(student/-to-be) to question the value of any of their choices.
How many of these I still hold dear to my heart in the future, we will see.
