Midwifery is catching

I get asked quite regularly two things:

"How do you find time to do everything?"

and

"Why do you give so much time to this? Does it mean you have no life?"

which I guess are two opposite ends of the spectrum.

Let me tell you a bit about my life. I have a partner who is the love of my life - we just celebrated 2 years together. I am 27. I live in a house with 3 boys (yes, 3. Menly types. Boys. One fantastically domesticated and supportive (but he’s mine and no he’s not cloneable) and two others), ruled over by the iron paw of my kitty:

 

Let it be known that she got in that box all by herself, and had us nearly in tears with laughter over it. More (142 in total!) photos can be seen on Flickr!

I do lots of things with my time. I knit. I paint. I sing in a choir. I am on that choir’s committee. I also have a part-time job. Between all of that and a full-time load at school and a lot of antenatal visits, I am busy. But that’s how I like to be. I find time because it’s important to me to find time for everything. I hate getting to the end of the day and thinking "well crap I achieved nothing at all today".

That said, it’s not a case of holding my nose and doing these things. I love what I do (for the most part) and I do what I love (also for the most part - I wish there was more time for knitting and painting). I spend a lot of time with my partner, and a lot of time by myself. I always have time for my women, and love spending time with them. They have their own ring tone in my phone and I am there for them, day and night. 

So what happens when I have an appointment that clashes with something else in my busy life? Well this is where my (seemingly) amazing ability to prioritise comes in. Or maybe it’s where the true realisation of the worth of things comes into being.

• Lecture vs antenatal - no competition.
• Lab or tutorial vs antenatal - harder to say, because these count towards my final mark and while I can miss some, I can’t miss lots. Plus I learn a lot in them…
• Antenatal/postnatal vs knitting - antenatal because knitting is a timeless activity and more to the point, it’ll be there next week.
• Antenatal/postnatal vs work - work, as I still need to earn the bikkies (maybe another day I’ll post about student support here in Oz), although it may in some cases be work because I have a strong work ethic, but those I tend to know about beforehand so can say yay or nay before the day. 
• Antenatal/postnatal Birth vs anything else - in theory, everything is trumped by a birth but sometimes I will have to miss them (and by them, I mean births for the women that I am following through their journey).

Other things have different and fluctuating priorities but I am surprised at the fervour I have about this. It’s easy to prioritise when I am given clear choices. And yes, I do weigh up the pros and cons of things!

With the "life on hold" comments - I wonder about this. Last night I went out with friends for a drink (hush, I know it was a Tuesday but I don’t care!) and it ended up being a late night and I was a little drunk by the end of it. It was only when I got home that I realised if L went into labour and I got a phone call, it would be a late night followed by an early call out, and I would possibly not be in a state to drive safely.

This made me think - should I not go away on holidays, plan anything, drink at all, commit to other commitments, or have a life when someone that I have a quasi-professional relationship with is going to give birth? Does that mean that for a month, I am attached to my phone 24/7 and not able to turn it off to watch a movie or go to a funeral? Do I put my life on hold for the rest of my degree, or do I enjoy the time I have where I am not being *paid* to do that, but when my work ethic says I should?

During the rest of the year, I have plans. I have camps, dinners, quiz nights, carolling, concerts, parties, visits, celebrations, plans and unplans. I have people to visit, books to read, and alcohol to drink. I would be disappointed if I was unable to go to someone’s birth because I’d chosen to do something else, but Murphy’s law applies to midwives as well as anyone else, and so it is said that a watched babe doesn’t arrive, and the minute you turn your back all hell breaks loose.

P.S. A great way to freak ones in-loves out is to decline their invitation to stay for lunch because you have to get back the city for an antenatal appointment! I need to use the word "clinic" instead me thinks .